I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
