So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
