yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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