I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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