you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
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