Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
