i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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