I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We talked him into tasing himself.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize