Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
