Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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