it hurts more in the daytime
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Is it penis luge time yet?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
