Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
