After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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