and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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