I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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