It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
