Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
