Is it because I queefed?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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