Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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