where am i from again
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
