google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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