i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
