I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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