so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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