So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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