the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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