she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I wish you could order shots online.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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