Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My cat gives me a boner
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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