chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
