It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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