Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
