last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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