The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
