The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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