I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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