An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
