These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
