shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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