My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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