so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He? As in you personified your dick?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
