I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
