This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Randomize
