Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
