Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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