Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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