OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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