so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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