I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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