I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
