i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
