In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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