Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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