I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
So many bounce houses so little time
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
