oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
