At least make sure they are 18
Why
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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