Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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