No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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