i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
