my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
