I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
you are never too drunk for berry picking
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
