Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Is it penis luge time yet?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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