Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize