I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
